It's been two days since he suggested to be "on a break" or put "Our relationship on hold" I don't know what happened, we were fine. or at least I thought we were. Was it my fault? Was my actions that were responsible? I thought back to my last day of term and the bitches on my bus who told me that what we had was not love, I cried all the way home and two hours later refusing to tell anyone what had happened, even Shawn. I knew he was the only one who could make me smile, reassure me that what we were doing wasn't some crazy thing, if only I knew what I know now. So many times it ran through my head to ask him to reassure me, to ask "Is what were doing really sensible?" but now I am glad I did not ask as I fear the answer he would have given. I think about how close we were after that night when I first started writing this and I know that the way I felt was so close it was like a thread that pulled us tighter, together, like it was making the distance unimportant. Now I regret everything, I regret all my actions even if they were good. I don't know what to do, what to say, I am trying to tread carefully as I don't wanna do anything that might make the out-come of our relationship be that it will not work. I don't want it to go back to how it was, me just sitting, waiting for him to decide that actually it may work. I can not keep drifting back to these awful thoughts every few days untill we may be reunited.